The joys of cell phone ownership ("Can you hear me now?")

Or not...

After reading this article, I have to share my own "happiness" with the same provider and those like it.


http://pogue.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/verizon-how-much-do-you-charge-now/?apage=16

For the last six weeks, I have been in battle with Verizon over a phone they sent me by mistake. It was the wrong one, but they didn't want to take it back in person. I had to send it back via FedEx and "slow boat to Ft. Worth". So I did so. But, in the meanwhile...

The personnel at the store I was originally told to take the thing to is more proof that the people running the cell phone companies' HR departments never actually see the people they hire. They were young, sloppy and were too busy gossiping with each other to actually get up. OK. I went to the young man at the podium and explained to him what I was told to do with the phone by their customer service people. This silly man laughed at me and told me I was wrong, that no one would ever tell me to do any such thing. Then he wanted to argue with me about the equipment being theirs to begin with--this despite my having the entire kit, complete with receipt, in hand. ON top of that, he tried to sell me another phone even though I was trying to get the mix-up on one I already ordered corrected. Then his pals came over and suggested I was scamming them. I was getting so angry by that point, I dialed the company directly and started complaining about them right there on the sales floor.

It took almost two hours for them to figure out how I was supposed to get my correct phone and get the other one back. The final agreement was that we would cross-post the phones--I send the wrong one back at the same time they ship the correct one. Here is where it falls apart. I shipped the wrong one back and received the right one. BUT they claimed never to have received the other one and started tacking the full price of the phone onto my bills.

After that, came the calls threatening to cut off my service even with the tracking number that proves the phone was signed for by their people. It seems like every day, I end up talking to those fools and giving them that number over and over. Meanwhile, they refuse to adjust the bill to remove the cost of that old phone. They want me to pay for it now and wait for a credit. Nuh-uh! I know how that works and I would prefer not to have that mess hanging on my account in any form.

I was also jumped on over and over for choosing a smartphone and not wanting the data plan. I wanted a smartphone because I wanted Office Mobile and a touch screen to draw quick diagrams on. I want the equivalent of a laptop that I could put in my pocket, basically. Sometimes a full laptop is just much to carry into the desert. But why should I have to justify my phone choice to them? I am the customer here and why I choose an item is really none of their business. The sad thing is that the phone was my first upgrade in years and was a freebie.

In all of this hassle, I learned some nasty things about my provider and all the others who are not "pay as you go".

First, any new phone that is considered a smart phone is now saddled with a data plan, whether you want it or not. Your provider will tell you the phone won't work without the plan, but that is a lie. The last three phones I had never had data plans and they worked just fine using free WiFi connections (the built-in WiFi is why I bought them). But now, the scam is to force everyone to use at least the $30/40 MB plan and get them to go over their limits and then move them to the $60 plan which still sucks at a maximum of 5 GB, then per KB charges apply. I don't use the data (preferring the WiFi) because, even with the plan, it is hard to figure out whether you have hit your puny limit. Bandwidth limitations, my Aunt Fanny.

Funny, though--if you don't have a data plan on your old smartphone, they are still quite able to charge you $1.99 for each 0.02 KB*. This is their best revenue stream--accidentally hit the Internet connect button for even five seconds and they charge you that $1.99 no matter how fast you disconnect. Some reports put their income from the accidental connections at over $300M PER MONTH, so they sure aren't losing money. Check your bill, no matter who you get service from--bet you will see some sort of data usage charge, too, even if you have never knowingly connected to the Internet.

Most people think it is a tax and pay it, so the claims of having to refund all those charges are also bogus. I mentioned the possible charges to some of my friends and nearly all of them have seen something similar, but never realized what it was and they have paid dutifully.

Second, there are some sneaky conditions that keep getting added to the contracts at random. For those who missed it, Verizon has decided to just about double their early cancellation penalties. The claim is that they need to recoup the cost of your so-called "free" phone if you leave before your two years are up. Considering that the fee for new (after 6 November of this year) activations is nearly $400, there is no way they can claim with a straight face that all those cheap Samsungs they hand out cost that much. Not when you can buy a similar phone from TracFone or Virgin Mobile for under $30 in a grocery store... Again, they are counting on the customers not being able to find all the terms they posted in the outhouse of an ashram in Outer Mongolia.

Third, the incredible arrogance of their people really set me off personally. In all those calls, the overriding theme was "because we can". I asked where I could find a printable version of their new terms. I was told they didn't have to provide those anymore. They just had to pick a day and make the changes. It was up to the consumer to figure that day out. If that consumer decided they didn't like the terms, they would have to pay up no matter how long they had been customers. With the new penalties, even a paid-off phone would still result in a balance due. But, again--"It's our company and we don't have to tell you about that until it is too late." Verizon is having a lot of issues with people complaining about what seems to be a lot of bait-and-switch going on with their contracts, not to mention with ATT (another one who operates pretty much the same way) suing them over the 3G claims.

In the end, I am almost tempted to use D's old phone for regular calls and keep the new phone for strictly the Pocket PC and WiFi features. It just doesn't seem worth it to keep dealing with the jerks. I only stay with Verizon because nearly my entire family is on it and we get free mobile-to-mobile calls 24/7 (good for my mom who is retired and on a fixed income). It also really does have better 3G coverage than the other guys. But is it worth the hassle?

*One more thing: why does Verizon charge $1.99 per MB everywhere else in the world, but charge its U.S. customers that same rate per 0.02 KB? Again, they claim bandwidth limitations, but they cleaned up in the last administration's frequency auctions and own a large chunk of the airwave frequencies available for wireless communications.

Oh, and for the record: the darned phone, according to FedEx, arrived at the Verizon depot almost three weeks ago. Verizon still insists it hasn't even with the tracking number, FedEx confirmation and the name of the guy who signed for it.