It's hometown, but not "home" anymore

Just got back from vacation "back home" and frankly am very happy to be back here in my own house. It was nice to see people and to hang out with friends, but in the end, it was catching up on gossip and then what?

I did get some paperwork I needed--like D's birth certificate and copies of the court order for the support. I couldn't get the CSR paperwork because some bitch there made a big deal about having to "sanitize" the file so I wouldn't see any personal information about J. Give me a freakin' break here! I think I have more than enough "personal information" to last me a lifetime and probably more than that beotch will ever have in her little folders. I ended up having to fill out a form requesting the information and hoping that they will let me know how much they actually expect me to pay for the sanitized copies. I mean, this includes the DNA test, so how are they going to sanitize THAT?

Anyway, D and I had lunch with S on the Friday before we came home. J chickened out at the last minute--he "just isn't ready". It's been 12 years, counting gestation!!! So when WILL he be ready? About the time he needs a blood transfusion or a kidney? If/when D becomes famous? S and I discussed some hard truths about the man. S has to stand up for his friend, but I suspect even he is starting to figure out that J is way past the age to be pretending to be footloose and fancy-free.

On top of that, S tells me that J's mother is dying. OK. So tell us all--did J ever bother to tell her that she has not one but two granddaughters? Has he ever shown her so much as a picture? It sucks in so many ways that the woman who really, really wanted grandchildren was cheated out them for so long and may in fact die without ever getting her wish. It's just another example of his fundamental self-absorption and selfishness. Only now he's letting his mom die in ignorance to protect his own promiscuous ass!

The best note is that I went by my alma mater, showed D where I went to college and introduced her to two of my old professors that are still teaching. And I DO mean OLD. One is still teaching her stuff at nearly 70 and the other is close to retirement. But that doesn't mean that I still wouldn't consider "doing" him in a New York minute!!! I scared the poo out of him when I insisted on hugging him goodbye instead of just shaking hands. I pointed out that I am nearly 50 and we are way past the professor-student crapola. I did pick up a few alumni souvenir type things--the license plate frame, a t-shirt, bumper stickers. As much as I HATE the word "alumni" when used for a singular, I will still put the damned frame on my car because I paid enough money back in student loans to earn the right!

D got to see her little boyfriend and they are happily sending email love notes to each other. Of course, mommy monitors each and every one. They are pre-teens, after all, and I want to make sure they don't get TOO lovey, if you catch my drift... :)

We did a day at the beach, but even that has changed. Too many condos and chi-chi little boutiques crowding out the things that made T I such an eclectic place. Now it is completely homogeneous like every other beach on the coast. :(

Dad is packing his shit up to move to Indiana, so even the first place we lived in as a family that wasn't military housing and that was permanent is now going on the market. So the only "home" isn't home anymore.

I think the next vacation there will be just me and D, playing tourist. We won't bother to tell family or certain friends we are even in the same area code. Then I won't have to deal with all the bullshit anymore about "When you giving up that job and coming home?" or "You moved but you could have found something here." Yeah, right... Where? Target isn't even hiring in my field yet. They weren't even there when I was still there anyway.

Besides, we have been out here long enough to qualify as "native" (more than five consecutive years residency and I own property).