Another day at the ballet

Well, R came in last night with her mom and announced she was quitting NBT. The official excuse was that she wanted a break and, since they weren't going to be here for the Spring Concert anyway, it would be a waste of time for her to learn the numbers.

D tried to speak to R, but she ignored D completely so D just walked away and didn't say anything else. You would think that at the end, the child would have enough manners to be civil. Well, it just shows the rampant meanness that prevails.

I also heard that Y is going to attempt to home school because she doesn't want her children exposed to the great unwashed masses and general populace before high school. I cracked up when I heard that because her older girl is already a beotch and pretty much the person Mommy wants her to avoid. Sad, really.... And she is STILL playing that "victim" card about how I picked on her. Y, just get over yourself! People see you for what you are and are getting bored--they just don't say anything because they think you might have money and have some small influence over NBT people. Uh-huh...

In other news, there is a big stink brewing over the way JK handles the girls. Several of them were talking about him Wednesday night, saying that they are beginning to hate ballet because of the way he treats them, grabbing them roughly and kicking them. NZ's parents grabbed him off after class that night because he apparently grabbed her by the neck to "adjust" her posture in class last week. I have spoken to him in the past about the way he physically pushes D around. She came out of Youth Company rehearsals in tears last week, wanting to quit right on the spot, because he was mishandling her and grabbing her in that spot between the clavicle and the shoulder blade whenever he repositioned her. I told her to yell in pain every time he grabs her and then tell him loudly that he is hurting her. That way, everyone hears it.

There is a rumor going around that the administration in the Academy will be undergoing a drastic change next year. I can only assume it might be because the current curriculum and policies have cost them students and so revenue.

I hear the money flow is so bad that the real reason they HAD to change the original prize for the dance essay (two tickets to the B & W ball-once around $200, now $750) to one month's tuition and some cash was because they couldn't afford that original prize. I just fear a huge tuition hike (after all, according to JK, ballet is for "wealthy people") which would send a lot of girls right out the door.

Fern Adair is looking better and better...

D's essay for the contest

And, no. She didn't win. But as with all the girls who entered, her picture and a quote from her essay will be featured in a video to be played at the B & W Ball. I guess Twyla Tharpe will then be presented with a copy of it.

When I’m Dancing, I Feel…

Better! At least most of the time…

In reality, when I am dancing and things are going right, things do seem much better for me. I can participate in something difficult and beautiful and sometimes fun. Even though there is a lot of stress in dance, it can also be a way to let go of some of the other stresses in life. At times I can imagine myself as someone (or something) else, like a peacock or even a mermaid. Even though it might seem weird, doing that helps me feel in control of myself.

A lot of adults forget that we kids are under a lot of stress in our lives. We have school and family and other activities that we have to deal with, along with our dance lives. We work hard at each thing but we can get really upset and stressed when we can’t be perfect at everything or we have to give up other activities. But, for me, the stress can go down or even away when I have a good night in my ballet class. When I learn a new combination quickly or get through a class without being the one getting yelled at all the time, it makes me happy and I have a big smile on my face (even though I know I still have to go home and finish my homework so late at night).

A fun dance, with lots of big moves and the beautiful costumes makes me shine like a peacock. I get to show off to everyone that I CAN handle the material and am not that much different than everyone else. Sometimes I like to pretend that I am some magical thing like a mermaid. Mermaids are graceful and swim like they are dancing in the water. A beautiful dance piece can make me feel like I am flowing through the water, all smooth and silent, letting the music move me like waves. It might sound stupid, but I like the calming effect.

You see, many people don’t understand that I have some issues that cause some problems (FOR THEM more than me, it seems like) at times. I have what my mom calls an alphabet soup of conditions --ADHD, PBPD, OCD and other stuff-- that make me do things at times that might seem like I am not paying attention or that I am just goofing off. Being accused of not concentrating gets frustrating because I really am paying attention even when I might seem to just be fidgeting or staring off into space. Some of the teachers have been meaner to me because they say they don’t have the time to wait the few extra moments it might take for me to catch on, even though I always do and I have been here long enough for most of them to know I am going to learn my part and not mess up any more than anyone else.

I said dance makes me feel in control of myself. I sometimes tell people that I hate it-usually after a class was very bad and I got in trouble for things that were not always my fault or even doing. But most of the time, I love to dance because I am different in an invisible way and dancing takes away some of the differences. That feeling when I find my control and my imagination takes off so that I can do something exactly as the teachers and choreographers want is one of peace and self-control and joy that no one can take from me, no matter how hard they try.

Breaks your heart, doesn't it? The usual little brats won--each of them girls who are already getting scholarships or whose family has more money than they know what to do with. As it is, the grand prize winner gets FURS and $500 shoes for Hannakuh, for Petesake! And she is only 14!!! So the month's tuition just means she gets an extra trip to the mall.

I just wish for once there would be a scholarship for financial need. But I hark back to JK telling me that ballet really is a wealthy person's avocation and I cringe for the company's future.

The Holiday Roundup

As another year starts, I have to put in my 2¢ about how the last one ended. "Nutcracker" is over and D is still wearing the wounds from her last performance. The mother of the girl playing "Clara" on the 24th decided she just HAD to take pictures on stage. So she made all the other kids who were warming up get off and go behind the scrims to the other side. Well, it is freakin' dark back there (as a backstage volunteer, I KNOW it is) and no one helped the kids with a light. D tripped over a lighting cable and fell right into the castle drawbridge set piece and hit the right side of her face. One of the moms who was waiting on that side slapped some extra blush on her face and she did her thing after a quick cry. When I got backstage at intermission, she cried all over again. The thing is, I know shit happens, but neither JK or VS-K said "jack" to her or to me. D complained that her really swollen jaw hurt for the rest of the day, but luckily no teeth were broken or anything.

A week later, it is yellow and green and the top part is almost faded. The bottom part is still rough.

Other than that....

We got through Christmas OK. Went out to eat at Sam's Town as usual. D got a lot of stuff and still found a way to fuss about not getting everything she wanted. Geez!!!

We spent this last weekend being touristy. Sunday night, we enjoyed MY Christmas present--VAN HALEN tickets!!!! All I can say is--"DAMN!!!!" I got some pictures, but I had a too-small SD card in the sucky (just in case they were taking them away) camera and didn't get nearly enough. Here is a taste, though.... It's only the opening, but you will get the point.

I just hope that they stay together much longer and don't piss each other off again. It was like they never broke up (even though Wolfgang is now playing bass instead of Michael Anthony). D and I both rocked out and sang along to everything. Hey, I raised my kid on Rock and Roll and she knows a good thing when she hears it.

I had to work yesterday, but last night we went to see Danny Gans just to do a Strip NYE thing. Before the show, we went to one of the ice cream shop outside the theater and had something. At the next table, Elvis was having a light snack. It was definitely Vegas! It was a good show and we got out of the area before it got really insane. The plan was to watch the fireworks but D conked out in the car and we watched it on TV.

Today was supposed to be a "tidy up the house" day (you can actually see the floor in D's room again). D had a friend over this afternoon who is home from Germany for the holidays and they played video and computer games before whipping out the old Uno game and then doing their nails. So even though B is coming tomorrow, the house is not as clean as it needs to be. But then--what else is new? For a house where people only seem to use as a way station, the place always looks like a cyclone hit it.

Back to work tomorrow... *Sigh*