How to deal with the rotten kid your kid hangs out with?

OK, I have been MIA for a while because of work projects that required crazy hours and lots of OT. I am in between those and the next set, so here I am--and I am ranting!

For D's 13th birthday, I upgraded her secondhand cell phone to a nicer one-the Alias. She was so thrilled to get it because it was a lot smaller than the eNvy (aka "The Brick") and it fit in her pocket easier. It also had neater features. I say "had" because the same little bee itch (AC) that stole her jeans earlier this year apparently stole the phone when they were all at the skate park.

Of course, the little monster swears she doesn't have it, although it was being answered/hung up when we called to see if it was in the house. When D called AC to ask about it, the girl got very defensive and then hung up. Later, she claimed she never saw the phone to begin with. Then she went into "you people are crazy" rant and told us to leave her alone. But she keeps messaging D on her MySpace page and calling the house and hanging up.

Yesterday, at Extreme Thing, AC saw D and ran off. Other kids mentioned that she was bragging about the phone to them.

The phone service is suspended on that number, but the girl has a brand new phone with a new microSD card and all D's contacts and pictures. God only knows what the heck she will do with them. The last time she got her hands on that kind of information (from another kid), she called and texted the contacts with all sorts of nasty trashy messages. The pictures ended up on MySpace.

The contacts can be gotten back because we get the backup service from our provider and I had just synced the numbers earlier that day. But that is not the point... This girl is allowed to run wild because her parents just don't give a sh!t.

I am sorry her parents are alcohols and drug addicts and her brother deals drugs. However, it is NOT my responsibility to provide her with clothing, food or anything else. The girl thinks that, if she worms her way into our house, she is entitled to pick up any of D's clothes she likes, take food out of the fridge and steal whatever else she likes. Of course, D is afraid to say anything because of the girl's family.

Unfortunately, there are way too many kids like that around here. Parents drink or do drugs, work weird hours and leave the kids alone most of the time, forget to buy food for the house, etc. Yeah, I feel sorry for them, but I also am a parent and I work.

The difference is that I pay the bills first, then buy food for the house. Only then do we entertain extras like a trip to the mall or buying a bunch of silly stuff. D doesn't like to see drinking so much as a beer around her because of those other parents, so I don't keep alcohol in the house at all. I think my biggest vice is sneaking in a box of Cella chocolate-covered cherries once in a while.

The biggest problem is that I cannot keep D from having contact with those kids. They go to her school, they hang out at the same places... I tell her that she needs to stay aloof because there is going to come a day when something horrific is going to happen with those kids and I do not want her to get dragged into it. I know that when they do finally bust AC's family, anyone in the house will go to jail with them. I just do NOT want my kid to be within a country mile of their place when it happens.

Right now, AC is harboring a runaway at her house and her parents are letting the girl stay there. D found out and saw the girl's sister and told her. I know some of you will say that's snitching, but AC's house is no place for her, let alone someone else's kid. I tried to get the police to investigate that family before, but they say they have too many other things to deal with. Too busy now, but when some tragedy strikes, they will be all contrite and swear they did their best.

It is impossible short of moving (and that may be a possibility) to keep the bad kids away from your own kids, but I am darned sure going to do everything in my power to keep that contact to a minimum outside of school (where they WILL have to interact since some are in the same classes).

If I thought I could get away with it (and I know I can't), I would spank the little brat myself and then personally drive her over to Child Haven since Juvie is always full up.

Now D tells me Little Miss AC is trying to be friends again. Who knows what she has up her sleeve now?

13 the hard way

Today is/was The Diva's birthday and I am so glad the day is over. It was a train wreck!

First, she spent the night with a girl whose family are really insane and trouble broke out. The girl steals and she keeps stealing D's clothes. Well, the little twitch stole a pair of jeans that my dad bought for D and I wanted them back. I also wanted the sketchbook that the girl was holding on to. The headbands the girl is welcome to keep because D said they looked nasty after this girl wore them D didn't want lice.

Well, this kid's mother decided to accuse D of being a psychopath because she has nice clothes and wants to wear them. She also swears her kid only has five pairs of jeans (this while throwing a pile of at least 10 pairs at me to go through). The husband apparently spends a lot of "quality time" in our local lock-up and just got home from the latest visit, so he was not very cordial, either.

I could replace the jeans, but the sketchbook is another story. What really made me angry was the attitude of the parents about their child stealing--"All this fuss over a pair of pants. Go buy her another pair if it is that important." "It's just a sketchbook. They cost four bucks at WalMart." Well, it is the principle here--first, I should not have to replace something your brat is standing there wearing in front of us and second, D has been working on some clothing designs over the past several months and that work is not easily duplicated. The father was like "Well, I draw too and I don't get upset when my stuff gets messed up!"

Both these people are missing the major point--their kid is a thief!

Well, I asked them to just let D see if she could find the book and they started cussing and screaming and threatening me. I just backed away and called the cops at that point. It took over an HOUR for the police to show up, giving those miscreants time to hide/destroy stuff and call someone to come get the pot out of the house (apparently the older brother makes his living via the informal pharmaceuticals trade). I watched the person go in, get the hand-over and then carry it away. Meanwhile, the parents coached their little "darling" on what to tell the cops. You could hear them yelling at her about what to say all the way down the street. Basically, the phony claim was that we went over unannounced and tried to break down the door. PLEASE!!! Anyone who knows me knows that I am not going to break down a door--especially when I know there are completely INSANE mofos on the other side.

Anyway, the mother had time to take her meds (speaking of "psychopath") and get the girl to say that Danielle was crazy and was always showing up over there. I can attest that is not true--text messaging records are a wonderful thing... The cops weren't buying their story and told me how to sue them, giving me an event number and nothing else. As if suing would ever get the artwork back.

It just about ruined The Diva's day because she had plans. However, we did salvage most of them. She and her "bestee" went to a movie and then hung out for a while, going to the park and then playing on the computer. D was so tired after we dropped her friend off back home that she crawled into bed after dinner and missed her cake. I might just wake her up in the morning with it.

Poor thing--I wanted her to have a nice birthday and it ended up being memorable, but for all the wrong reasons. Well, maybe this experience will finally convince her that there are some real bitches out there even in middle school and that when I say I want to screen these girls and their families, I'm not doing so just to be nosy. I won't be able to protect her from everything, but I will do my best to protect her as much as I can.