About "sexting" and silly laws

As many of you already know, there has been a rush of late to charge random teenagers all over the country with child pornography because they are "sexting"--that is, sending naughty pictures of themselves to their friends and significant others. Now why is that so wrong, you may ask?

The laws against child porn are clear in that they all state that adult EXPLOITATION of a child for sexual purposes is to be prohibited and handled in the harshest manner. Offenders have to do time and, (no) thanks to Meghan's Law, register as sex offenders no matter what for the rest of their lives. None of the sexting incidents fall under that exploitation umbrella. In fact, in these cases, there is no legal adult involved at all.

These cases are about girls and guys showing off their ADULT bodies. And yes--they are ADULT bodies. If a girl is menstruating and a guy is able to maintain an erection with ejaculation, then they are physically adults with all the urgings that come with the territory.

One case involves a girl who posted pictures on her private MySpace page for her boyfriend and someone saw the pictures. Another case involves girls posting pictures of themselves at a slumber party in those stupid flannel pants everyone wears these days and bras (or bra-like tops). They weren't posted for adults to have one off to or for some perv to download. They were for specific people and someone else shared.

These girls (where are the boys' cases?) are facing serious jail time for TRAFFICKING in child porn. They would also have to register as sex offenders, which means that most jobs open to women even these days would be off-limits to them: nursing, teaching, store worker, flipping burgers at the local Mickey D's (kids come in there, plus work there).

OK. They were frakking stupid for sharing their stuff in places where others could stumble upon them. They were doubling stupid for thinking their "friends" would not download and share the pics. But criminals? No way on God's green earth!!! All they need is a good whoopin' and some down time working at the local kid shelter or something similar.

You may ask why I think what they did is not so bad. It's not. It's stupid because things come back to haunt people in the most importunate moments--like when one becomes famous. I personally know of a set of pictures still out there that would embarrass a prominent actress, but that's another story... But we ALL did something similar when we were that age.

When I was in HS, there was no digital media. You used film and hoped that the Walgreen's didn't actually look at your pictures. Lucky me--my dad was/is a photographer and I had my own darkroom to develop my stuff, so that was not an issue. OR... You used that magical invention called Polaroid!!! Many a party I went to back in the day featured at least four or five instant cameras and lots of pictures I would not want posted anywhere now. But we didn't think of that then. We wanted FUN MEMORIES. We wanted pictures to slip into the lockers, backpacks or math books of our "one true love" (for that week). Some of those pictures may well have been shown around in the gym locker room or on the bus going to the football games, but that didn't matter, either. We were sharing ourselves. FTR: no, there are NO pictures of me in the 100% altogether floating around from high school, although I have to say I did look great back then.

The other problem with these types of laws is that there are thousands of people out there, mostly young men, who are registered sex offenders for having CONSENSUAL relations with their girlfriends who might have been just a tad below "legal". So what? Those girls are not exactly innocent flowers, are they? In just about every case, these couples have been having it on for some time and the complaint came not from them but from parents (usually the girl’s) who refused to believe their little darling would be doing something like that.

Think about it—there is a young man still sitting in jail in Atlanta for getting a BJ from a girl at a party; someone with a cell phone recorded it and sent it to everyone at school. Apparently everyone knew about this girl’s—um—talent except her mother and that is who screamed “Rape!” Not the girl, not the other girls who were also doing “stuff”, not the young man… Only the mother who refused to believe her daughter was capable of knowing what sex was, let alone indulging in it themselves.

I sat on a grand jury once where every single person knew the people involved in a similar case. The girl had been “seeing” boy for a long time, but then mamma wanted a piece of the action. The boyfriend refused to share and mamma filed charges. No matter how hard many of us argued, there were some idiots who were more concerned with the letter and not the intent of the law. This kid was indicted and ended up doing time for not wanting to do someone’s mother along with his girlfriend. He also had to register as a tier 1 offender for “statutory rape”, as the charges were brought just AFTER the age of consent laws in Georgia were changed.

So we are back at the original point: some laws are really, REALLY stupid when they make major criminals out of young people who have discovered the life beyond Barbie and Ken going on “dream dates”.

Would I be angry if I discovered my daughter taking the more extreme pictures? You betcha!!! Her punishment would be to lose all the electronics for a while and a good butt-kicking. Would I want her going to jail for doing so? Criminal charges and a permanent blot that would keep her from holding down a job for the rest of her life? Hell, NO!!

13 the hard way

Today is/was The Diva's birthday and I am so glad the day is over. It was a train wreck!

First, she spent the night with a girl whose family are really insane and trouble broke out. The girl steals and she keeps stealing D's clothes. Well, the little twitch stole a pair of jeans that my dad bought for D and I wanted them back. I also wanted the sketchbook that the girl was holding on to. The headbands the girl is welcome to keep because D said they looked nasty after this girl wore them D didn't want lice.

Well, this kid's mother decided to accuse D of being a psychopath because she has nice clothes and wants to wear them. She also swears her kid only has five pairs of jeans (this while throwing a pile of at least 10 pairs at me to go through). The husband apparently spends a lot of "quality time" in our local lock-up and just got home from the latest visit, so he was not very cordial, either.

I could replace the jeans, but the sketchbook is another story. What really made me angry was the attitude of the parents about their child stealing--"All this fuss over a pair of pants. Go buy her another pair if it is that important." "It's just a sketchbook. They cost four bucks at WalMart." Well, it is the principle here--first, I should not have to replace something your brat is standing there wearing in front of us and second, D has been working on some clothing designs over the past several months and that work is not easily duplicated. The father was like "Well, I draw too and I don't get upset when my stuff gets messed up!"

Both these people are missing the major point--their kid is a thief!

Well, I asked them to just let D see if she could find the book and they started cussing and screaming and threatening me. I just backed away and called the cops at that point. It took over an HOUR for the police to show up, giving those miscreants time to hide/destroy stuff and call someone to come get the pot out of the house (apparently the older brother makes his living via the informal pharmaceuticals trade). I watched the person go in, get the hand-over and then carry it away. Meanwhile, the parents coached their little "darling" on what to tell the cops. You could hear them yelling at her about what to say all the way down the street. Basically, the phony claim was that we went over unannounced and tried to break down the door. PLEASE!!! Anyone who knows me knows that I am not going to break down a door--especially when I know there are completely INSANE mofos on the other side.

Anyway, the mother had time to take her meds (speaking of "psychopath") and get the girl to say that Danielle was crazy and was always showing up over there. I can attest that is not true--text messaging records are a wonderful thing... The cops weren't buying their story and told me how to sue them, giving me an event number and nothing else. As if suing would ever get the artwork back.

It just about ruined The Diva's day because she had plans. However, we did salvage most of them. She and her "bestee" went to a movie and then hung out for a while, going to the park and then playing on the computer. D was so tired after we dropped her friend off back home that she crawled into bed after dinner and missed her cake. I might just wake her up in the morning with it.

Poor thing--I wanted her to have a nice birthday and it ended up being memorable, but for all the wrong reasons. Well, maybe this experience will finally convince her that there are some real bitches out there even in middle school and that when I say I want to screen these girls and their families, I'm not doing so just to be nosy. I won't be able to protect her from everything, but I will do my best to protect her as much as I can.

Malls are the Devil's playground!

For those who don't know, The Diva does some modeling (mostly for the experience). Yesterday, she had a show at Dillard's so we had to make a trip to the mall--something only slightly higher than getting my eyes dilated on the list of "fun things to do".

Now, if you have had ANY experience with malls combined with any girl near "teenagedom", you know that it is a toxic combination to the poor parent who has to be there with her. After the fashion show, we had to go into every freakin' store that caters to the fashionable teen (and the wallet of said teen's parental unit). Hot Topic, Wet Seal, Tilly's, PacSun, Hot Catz... We are not talking The Gap by any means. At least we weren't at the mall with the Betsey Johnson store--The Diva loves her clothes, but I am not about to spend $400 on a dress with less than two yards of material!!!

I admit--I did buy a few things for The Diva. However, she was told "Merry Christmas" with each purchase because I mentally added those to the presents I was going to get anyway. It was probably easier because it means she got what she wanted and I don't have to hear that I don't have a clue--coupled with the eye roll that is perfected around the age of 12. Besides, I was able to get the stuff on sale before it was completely picked over.