Today is/was The Diva's birthday and I am so glad the day is over. It was a train wreck!
First, she spent the night with a girl whose family are really insane and trouble broke out. The girl steals and she keeps stealing D's clothes. Well, the little twitch stole a pair of jeans that my dad bought for D and I wanted them back. I also wanted the sketchbook that the girl was holding on to. The headbands the girl is welcome to keep because D said they looked nasty after this girl wore them D didn't want lice.
Well, this kid's mother decided to accuse D of being a psychopath because she has nice clothes and wants to wear them. She also swears her kid only has five pairs of jeans (this while throwing a pile of at least 10 pairs at me to go through). The husband apparently spends a lot of "quality time" in our local lock-up and just got home from the latest visit, so he was not very cordial, either.
I could replace the jeans, but the sketchbook is another story. What really made me angry was the attitude of the parents about their child stealing--"All this fuss over a pair of pants. Go buy her another pair if it is that important." "It's just a sketchbook. They cost four bucks at WalMart." Well, it is the principle here--first, I should not have to replace something your brat is standing there wearing in front of us and second, D has been working on some clothing designs over the past several months and that work is not easily duplicated. The father was like "Well, I draw too and I don't get upset when my stuff gets messed up!"
Both these people are missing the major point--their kid is a thief!
Well, I asked them to just let D see if she could find the book and they started cussing and screaming and threatening me. I just backed away and called the cops at that point. It took over an HOUR for the police to show up, giving those miscreants time to hide/destroy stuff and call someone to come get the pot out of the house (apparently the older brother makes his living via the informal pharmaceuticals trade). I watched the person go in, get the hand-over and then carry it away. Meanwhile, the parents coached their little "darling" on what to tell the cops. You could hear them yelling at her about what to say all the way down the street. Basically, the phony claim was that we went over unannounced and tried to break down the door. PLEASE!!! Anyone who knows me knows that I am not going to break down a door--especially when I know there are completely INSANE mofos on the other side.
Anyway, the mother had time to take her meds (speaking of "psychopath") and get the girl to say that Danielle was crazy and was always showing up over there. I can attest that is not true--text messaging records are a wonderful thing... The cops weren't buying their story and told me how to sue them, giving me an event number and nothing else. As if suing would ever get the artwork back.
It just about ruined The Diva's day because she had plans. However, we did salvage most of them. She and her "bestee" went to a movie and then hung out for a while, going to the park and then playing on the computer. D was so tired after we dropped her friend off back home that she crawled into bed after dinner and missed her cake. I might just wake her up in the morning with it.
Poor thing--I wanted her to have a nice birthday and it ended up being memorable, but for all the wrong reasons. Well, maybe this experience will finally convince her that there are some real bitches out there even in middle school and that when I say I want to screen these girls and their families, I'm not doing so just to be nosy. I won't be able to protect her from everything, but I will do my best to protect her as much as I can.
Showing posts with label mean kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mean kids. Show all posts
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Class Wars, continued
Well, the "rich" bitch who continually makes a big deal about everything being so cheap is a hypocrite and a liar as well.
I tried to talk to her about her older daughter (and her best friend) doing things to get my daughter in trouble in class. She turned it into a tirade about how perfect her little angel is and how bad my child is. She turned every point into an indictment of my child's behavior. You know, I never thought that my child was beyond reproach, but DAYUM!!! H is a spoiled brat who allegedly is going to come into a trust fund when she is older and Y brags all the time about how her girls will never have to work.
Basically, the issue is that H and her friend R whisper and play around when Mr. K's back is turned, then point to D when he turns around so guess who gets in trouble? I will be the first to admit D does her share of playing, but she is NOT the only one. Mr. K told Y that H is not "misbehaving" and that is all Y heard. She missed the part about all the girls having to be called down at one point or another. I asked Mr. K to separate the girls as best he could within the limits of what he has planned for the class as a whole because I am tired of D crying at the end of every class because the damned little "princesses" are making her life hell.
Y told me these wild stories about how D was always hitting H on the shoulder in class and how she supposedly put her foot up on C's shoulder and wouldn't take it down. Amazing that the TEACHER never said a word about either incident and you would think he would notice someone's leg propped on the shoulder of another student. Then she told me that she heard D during the Spring Concert last June (behind a curtain and in the middle of a 120-decibel madhouse) clearly say that "Ballet stinks. Why are you doing this 'shit'?"
So why not mention it then? Or sometime during the dozens of other conversations since then? She wanted to make it out that I was bringing D up wrong or that I didn't have people to talk to and so was making things up to stir the poop.
To add the pee topping to the poop cake, she dragged all the girls from the class together and put them on the spot about H making it clear that if those girls were nice to D, she wouldn't be friends with any of them. Of course they all told Y what she wanted to hear because I don't believe any of them wanted to be in the middle. The ones that looked like they wanted to say something different were effectively shut up by Y gloating over all the room that she was "right". Poor D wanted to confront them about how mean they have been, but then Y started yelling at me and all of the girls scattered as quickly as they could. D ran into the bathroom crying. I chewed out Y for not letting D ask H to her face why she was so mean to her. Y got all stupid and told me I was never to talk to her again and got all ridiculous about how I was nuts.
I caught up with Mr. K and asked him why he lied to Y. He told me what he told her and obviously she didn't hear anything past the first sentence. As I said above, he allowed that ALL the girls get called down. He also told me that they did discuss D's issues before letting her into the Youth Company (yes, she made it in) but that they also saw something in her that made it clear she had what it took to succeed (with some molding).
I let him know that there was a whispering that H and R (and I think their mothers) think getting D in trouble would get her kicked out and R in. You see, R sucked at the audition and didn't make it into the Youth Company. You should have seen the scene her mom made, crying all over the place and checking the list over and over to see if she missed R's name. She was also pointing to some names and moaning that R should have made it over this or that girl. Mostly, she pointed and bitched in the general vicinity of where D's name was on the list.
Y seems to think that her girls have minds of their own and would never hatch such a scheme, but I know better. Girls at this age want to impress their parents and can pick up on the hints EVEN IF NOTHING IS EVER OPENLY SAID. If H and R think they would make their moms happy by picking on D and making her out to be the bad guy, they would pick at D 24/7/365. AND they would get their friends in on the game! That is what girls do.
I am so ready to out Y for the hypocritical little bitch she is. She is trying to keep it secret that she is divorced because Japanese women lose face when they lose their husbands. Gee, I wonder why she lost hers. I suspect she is living off her parents as they have money to burn (or so she intimated in the past--back to the trust fund story...). I do know one thing about her situation, but I promised not to say anything as it is someone else's secret to tell. Let's just say, she isn't that far up the scale from me and has a helluva a lot of nerve telling me how common and low she thinks I am.
So now it is open warfare. I am sure she has been on the phone and on the computer all afternoon telling R's mom and whoever else thinks she still is "hot stuff" what a bitch I am. It's all crap and now D is determined to prove them wrong with ballet and with her acting. I will laugh my ass off when D makes it big and those same little brats and their moms start kissing up to her. She has my permission to act like Julie Smith (aka Julianne Moore) and say mean things about the Academy and her classmates if she ever gets on talk shows. I know--it isn't mature, but if it makes D feel better and gives her motivation, I have to make this one allowance.
I tried to talk to her about her older daughter (and her best friend) doing things to get my daughter in trouble in class. She turned it into a tirade about how perfect her little angel is and how bad my child is. She turned every point into an indictment of my child's behavior. You know, I never thought that my child was beyond reproach, but DAYUM!!! H is a spoiled brat who allegedly is going to come into a trust fund when she is older and Y brags all the time about how her girls will never have to work.
Basically, the issue is that H and her friend R whisper and play around when Mr. K's back is turned, then point to D when he turns around so guess who gets in trouble? I will be the first to admit D does her share of playing, but she is NOT the only one. Mr. K told Y that H is not "misbehaving" and that is all Y heard. She missed the part about all the girls having to be called down at one point or another. I asked Mr. K to separate the girls as best he could within the limits of what he has planned for the class as a whole because I am tired of D crying at the end of every class because the damned little "princesses" are making her life hell.
Y told me these wild stories about how D was always hitting H on the shoulder in class and how she supposedly put her foot up on C's shoulder and wouldn't take it down. Amazing that the TEACHER never said a word about either incident and you would think he would notice someone's leg propped on the shoulder of another student. Then she told me that she heard D during the Spring Concert last June (behind a curtain and in the middle of a 120-decibel madhouse) clearly say that "Ballet stinks. Why are you doing this 'shit'?"
So why not mention it then? Or sometime during the dozens of other conversations since then? She wanted to make it out that I was bringing D up wrong or that I didn't have people to talk to and so was making things up to stir the poop.
To add the pee topping to the poop cake, she dragged all the girls from the class together and put them on the spot about H making it clear that if those girls were nice to D, she wouldn't be friends with any of them. Of course they all told Y what she wanted to hear because I don't believe any of them wanted to be in the middle. The ones that looked like they wanted to say something different were effectively shut up by Y gloating over all the room that she was "right". Poor D wanted to confront them about how mean they have been, but then Y started yelling at me and all of the girls scattered as quickly as they could. D ran into the bathroom crying. I chewed out Y for not letting D ask H to her face why she was so mean to her. Y got all stupid and told me I was never to talk to her again and got all ridiculous about how I was nuts.
I caught up with Mr. K and asked him why he lied to Y. He told me what he told her and obviously she didn't hear anything past the first sentence. As I said above, he allowed that ALL the girls get called down. He also told me that they did discuss D's issues before letting her into the Youth Company (yes, she made it in) but that they also saw something in her that made it clear she had what it took to succeed (with some molding).
I let him know that there was a whispering that H and R (and I think their mothers) think getting D in trouble would get her kicked out and R in. You see, R sucked at the audition and didn't make it into the Youth Company. You should have seen the scene her mom made, crying all over the place and checking the list over and over to see if she missed R's name. She was also pointing to some names and moaning that R should have made it over this or that girl. Mostly, she pointed and bitched in the general vicinity of where D's name was on the list.
Y seems to think that her girls have minds of their own and would never hatch such a scheme, but I know better. Girls at this age want to impress their parents and can pick up on the hints EVEN IF NOTHING IS EVER OPENLY SAID. If H and R think they would make their moms happy by picking on D and making her out to be the bad guy, they would pick at D 24/7/365. AND they would get their friends in on the game! That is what girls do.
I am so ready to out Y for the hypocritical little bitch she is. She is trying to keep it secret that she is divorced because Japanese women lose face when they lose their husbands. Gee, I wonder why she lost hers. I suspect she is living off her parents as they have money to burn (or so she intimated in the past--back to the trust fund story...). I do know one thing about her situation, but I promised not to say anything as it is someone else's secret to tell. Let's just say, she isn't that far up the scale from me and has a helluva a lot of nerve telling me how common and low she thinks I am.
So now it is open warfare. I am sure she has been on the phone and on the computer all afternoon telling R's mom and whoever else thinks she still is "hot stuff" what a bitch I am. It's all crap and now D is determined to prove them wrong with ballet and with her acting. I will laugh my ass off when D makes it big and those same little brats and their moms start kissing up to her. She has my permission to act like Julie Smith (aka Julianne Moore) and say mean things about the Academy and her classmates if she ever gets on talk shows. I know--it isn't mature, but if it makes D feel better and gives her motivation, I have to make this one allowance.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
"Fairness" Vs. Expediency
For the past two weeks, I have had time to ponder the use of the word "fairness" when it is obvious that the person using the word actually means they are just taking the quick way out.
This has come about because of an incident that happened to D at her school (a magnet elementary school in LV that prides itself on its "international" affiliations and a politician's wife on hand).
To lay out the background, fifth grade at her school has a sleep-away science camp at the end of the year. The entire year, the kids are psyched up by the school about this event. In fact, it is held over their head as a threat like Damocles' sword. As it is a sleep-away event, the parents had to sign a sheaf of forms that give the school permission to seek medical aid, give medicine, transport the kids in school buses and ALL the papers said it was a school function (including the packing list for the trip, which told the kids they had to pack according to the dress code).
Well, in the two weeks before the trip, my daughter started getting harassed by her teachers. Every perceived "bad look" or "disrespectful" action was turned into a big deal--the incidents were mostly where a teacher or other student accused D wrongly of doing something and she spoke up to defend herself. Apparently that is a bad thing at her school. So is standing on a ball court when calling someone out, it seems.
The Friday before the camp, I had gone to the school to warn the assistant principal that some of the kids were planning to entrap and get D into trouble somehow (the little monsters were planning it the night before IN FRONT OF ME and one of them even mouthed off to me!!!). I was promised that she would be watched and protected by this same AP. Alas! That was not the case at all.
At recess that Friday afternoon, D was invited to be the judge in a game of tetherball. When she called one of the little brats out, the girl ("A") refused to leave. She then told D that "when the ball hits [her], it would be an 'accident'". Then she spiked the freakin' ball into D's face!!! She followed that by a kick to D's leg (a real no-no to me because of D's dancing). D ran to the AP who was supposed to be looking out for her (but was hanging out with another teacher) and told her what happened. The other girl figured out she was going to get in trouble and messed up her own clothing and then accused D of hitting her, too. But she freely admitted that she hit D first, no matter what else resulted. No matter! BOTH girls were banned from the camp without the principal being consulted or the other parent having a chance to come in. Then the AP left a chickenshit voice message apologizing, but still banning both the girls "to be fair". Total BS!
I went to the school first thing Monday AM before her class was due to leave and had a confrontational meeting with the principal (nice lady-NOT!!!). She was pissed because I was making her late for a meeting and she didn't want to discuss it. Then the beotch had the nerve to say that D instigated the fight (not there was any proof there ever was anything but A attacking my kid and then lying) because she "was standing in front of A and didn't move"! WTF is that kind of logic?!?! Then she pulled out a bunch of alleged incident reports that neither D nor I had ever seen before and said that she would have kept D from going for any one of those reports.
As for the reports: one was for D supposedly being disrespectful to her GATE teacher (the one who allegedly keeps adult type magazines in his desk--when reported the response was "Oh, no! Not at our school! We don't have those kinds of teachers here!") when he accused her of doing something she wasn't doing. Another was when her keyboarding partner started messing with the controls and the music teacher told her to stop and D said it wasn't her. Piddly shit, to be sure, and not worth more than a note to me (which I never got). BUT it was already known that just one report would keep a child from going to camp and a lot of teachers used those reports to keep kids they didn't care for from attending. Yeah... Really "fair", huh? She was holding the reports "just in case" she "needed them". Again, WTF??? She as much as told me that she was going to use something, ANYTHING to keep D from going. To add to the Bitch Quotient, the idiot woman had the nerve to tell me that it really wasn't a school function anyway and she could control who got to go anyway. So what was with all the forms with the school district logos and official letterhead all over the place that they made us sign?
The favorite word tossed around at the school is "investigate". Every incident must be investigated. Investigation is usually on the level of "Who did it?" "X did." End of investigation. No independent collaboration, no checking the tapes, nothing! Or, in the case of D and A, not even that was done. My daughter had the other girl's shoe prints all over her, quite visible from across the room. When I asked if they checked the other girl for similar marks, I was laughed at and told I watched too many crime shows. When I was teaching, it was standard practice to examine EVERY kid for evidence. Apparently, there was nothing to see at the time. Later, A had a tear in her shirt and claimed D bit a hole in it. It wasn't examined closely to see if it was a tear or cut, but they took A's word for it and said D did it. No proof, no witnesses, but that didn't matter. It was easier to be "fair" to the girl who assaulted my child by taking her word for it that my daughter bit her shirt than to be 100% certain. Expediency over fairness!
And what about the alleged "knock down-drag out"? With teachers and the AP on the playground, wouldn't you think that someone might have noticed that there were children fighting? Especially if there was clothing-rending and yelling? Not a single adult saw any altercation! And, of course, the surveillance cameras are not trained on the playground as it would mean they would be liable if there were a tape. My daughter had to go get the AP, crying all the way, when she got hit. But D was alleged to have been capable of tearing a shirt at the same time. PULEEEZE!
What I really take umbrage with is the portrayal of D as "a danger to others". I was told that to my face. My child had only one other referral in the four years the school has been open for fighting and that was when she was being choked by a bigger girl and she bit the girl to get free. Unfortunately, the girl was the daughter of a favorite substitute teacher and they wanted to keep the momma happy, so D got in trouble.
Part of the issue is that D has a 504 plan for her ADHD and PBPD (another parent I know is going through the same issues, so it isn't just D, BTW). The school, priding itself on its "elite" status, really doesn't like to deal with 504s and IEPs or anything that doesn't exude perfection. They don't like to deal with the paperwork or the special accommodations or 1:1 instruction, so they pick on the kids. It is far easier to single out the 504 kids as "troublemakers" and punish them constantly for anything they can, hoping the parents will pull the kids and the school wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. That's why the principal went to mandatory uniforms--she hated keeping track of the regular dress code.
Sadly, D didn't get to go to the camp at all (even though I gather Mr. H--the region supervisor--had told the principal to let the girls go and punish them some other way). D spent three days in a class with a sub doing worksheets and having the other kids alternately making fun of her or blaming her for getting A "in trouble" even though A attacked D to begin with! The other kids also spread the story around that A was minding her own business and D just walked up and hit her for no reason. The same little monsters who have been picking on her all year have been given carte blanch to make the last few days miserable for D and the administration of the school are being "fair" by allowing it to go on because my child is ALWAYS wrong, no matter what. I have tried to get her to go to an adult when she has a problem. It doesn't help when her teacher (more on her later) tells her to stop being such a tattletale.
A note about the other girl: I was told what an angel she was and how she NEVER got in trouble. Uh-huh! This girl has beaten up just about every kid in Safekey. Still on school grounds and contracted by the school district, right? So it is still a school thing, however obliquely, as far as I am concerned. Yet, despite the fact that Safekey went to the school when D tossed a pencil box at me and I yelled at her, I was told that Safekey had nothing to do with the school and visa versa, so A's fights there meant nothing. But D gets referrals? Like I said...
I didn't get the money for camp fees back, either.
This has come about because of an incident that happened to D at her school (a magnet elementary school in LV that prides itself on its "international" affiliations and a politician's wife on hand).
To lay out the background, fifth grade at her school has a sleep-away science camp at the end of the year. The entire year, the kids are psyched up by the school about this event. In fact, it is held over their head as a threat like Damocles' sword. As it is a sleep-away event, the parents had to sign a sheaf of forms that give the school permission to seek medical aid, give medicine, transport the kids in school buses and ALL the papers said it was a school function (including the packing list for the trip, which told the kids they had to pack according to the dress code).
Well, in the two weeks before the trip, my daughter started getting harassed by her teachers. Every perceived "bad look" or "disrespectful" action was turned into a big deal--the incidents were mostly where a teacher or other student accused D wrongly of doing something and she spoke up to defend herself. Apparently that is a bad thing at her school. So is standing on a ball court when calling someone out, it seems.
The Friday before the camp, I had gone to the school to warn the assistant principal that some of the kids were planning to entrap and get D into trouble somehow (the little monsters were planning it the night before IN FRONT OF ME and one of them even mouthed off to me!!!). I was promised that she would be watched and protected by this same AP. Alas! That was not the case at all.
At recess that Friday afternoon, D was invited to be the judge in a game of tetherball. When she called one of the little brats out, the girl ("A") refused to leave. She then told D that "when the ball hits [her], it would be an 'accident'". Then she spiked the freakin' ball into D's face!!! She followed that by a kick to D's leg (a real no-no to me because of D's dancing). D ran to the AP who was supposed to be looking out for her (but was hanging out with another teacher) and told her what happened. The other girl figured out she was going to get in trouble and messed up her own clothing and then accused D of hitting her, too. But she freely admitted that she hit D first, no matter what else resulted. No matter! BOTH girls were banned from the camp without the principal being consulted or the other parent having a chance to come in. Then the AP left a chickenshit voice message apologizing, but still banning both the girls "to be fair". Total BS!
I went to the school first thing Monday AM before her class was due to leave and had a confrontational meeting with the principal (nice lady-NOT!!!). She was pissed because I was making her late for a meeting and she didn't want to discuss it. Then the beotch had the nerve to say that D instigated the fight (not there was any proof there ever was anything but A attacking my kid and then lying) because she "was standing in front of A and didn't move"! WTF is that kind of logic?!?! Then she pulled out a bunch of alleged incident reports that neither D nor I had ever seen before and said that she would have kept D from going for any one of those reports.
As for the reports: one was for D supposedly being disrespectful to her GATE teacher (the one who allegedly keeps adult type magazines in his desk--when reported the response was "Oh, no! Not at our school! We don't have those kinds of teachers here!") when he accused her of doing something she wasn't doing. Another was when her keyboarding partner started messing with the controls and the music teacher told her to stop and D said it wasn't her. Piddly shit, to be sure, and not worth more than a note to me (which I never got). BUT it was already known that just one report would keep a child from going to camp and a lot of teachers used those reports to keep kids they didn't care for from attending. Yeah... Really "fair", huh? She was holding the reports "just in case" she "needed them". Again, WTF??? She as much as told me that she was going to use something, ANYTHING to keep D from going. To add to the Bitch Quotient, the idiot woman had the nerve to tell me that it really wasn't a school function anyway and she could control who got to go anyway. So what was with all the forms with the school district logos and official letterhead all over the place that they made us sign?
The favorite word tossed around at the school is "investigate". Every incident must be investigated. Investigation is usually on the level of "Who did it?" "X did." End of investigation. No independent collaboration, no checking the tapes, nothing! Or, in the case of D and A, not even that was done. My daughter had the other girl's shoe prints all over her, quite visible from across the room. When I asked if they checked the other girl for similar marks, I was laughed at and told I watched too many crime shows. When I was teaching, it was standard practice to examine EVERY kid for evidence. Apparently, there was nothing to see at the time. Later, A had a tear in her shirt and claimed D bit a hole in it. It wasn't examined closely to see if it was a tear or cut, but they took A's word for it and said D did it. No proof, no witnesses, but that didn't matter. It was easier to be "fair" to the girl who assaulted my child by taking her word for it that my daughter bit her shirt than to be 100% certain. Expediency over fairness!
And what about the alleged "knock down-drag out"? With teachers and the AP on the playground, wouldn't you think that someone might have noticed that there were children fighting? Especially if there was clothing-rending and yelling? Not a single adult saw any altercation! And, of course, the surveillance cameras are not trained on the playground as it would mean they would be liable if there were a tape. My daughter had to go get the AP, crying all the way, when she got hit. But D was alleged to have been capable of tearing a shirt at the same time. PULEEEZE!
What I really take umbrage with is the portrayal of D as "a danger to others". I was told that to my face. My child had only one other referral in the four years the school has been open for fighting and that was when she was being choked by a bigger girl and she bit the girl to get free. Unfortunately, the girl was the daughter of a favorite substitute teacher and they wanted to keep the momma happy, so D got in trouble.
Part of the issue is that D has a 504 plan for her ADHD and PBPD (another parent I know is going through the same issues, so it isn't just D, BTW). The school, priding itself on its "elite" status, really doesn't like to deal with 504s and IEPs or anything that doesn't exude perfection. They don't like to deal with the paperwork or the special accommodations or 1:1 instruction, so they pick on the kids. It is far easier to single out the 504 kids as "troublemakers" and punish them constantly for anything they can, hoping the parents will pull the kids and the school wouldn't have to deal with them anymore. That's why the principal went to mandatory uniforms--she hated keeping track of the regular dress code.
Sadly, D didn't get to go to the camp at all (even though I gather Mr. H--the region supervisor--had told the principal to let the girls go and punish them some other way). D spent three days in a class with a sub doing worksheets and having the other kids alternately making fun of her or blaming her for getting A "in trouble" even though A attacked D to begin with! The other kids also spread the story around that A was minding her own business and D just walked up and hit her for no reason. The same little monsters who have been picking on her all year have been given carte blanch to make the last few days miserable for D and the administration of the school are being "fair" by allowing it to go on because my child is ALWAYS wrong, no matter what. I have tried to get her to go to an adult when she has a problem. It doesn't help when her teacher (more on her later) tells her to stop being such a tattletale.
A note about the other girl: I was told what an angel she was and how she NEVER got in trouble. Uh-huh! This girl has beaten up just about every kid in Safekey. Still on school grounds and contracted by the school district, right? So it is still a school thing, however obliquely, as far as I am concerned. Yet, despite the fact that Safekey went to the school when D tossed a pencil box at me and I yelled at her, I was told that Safekey had nothing to do with the school and visa versa, so A's fights there meant nothing. But D gets referrals? Like I said...
I didn't get the money for camp fees back, either.
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